Near to you
by LittleDarkDevil13
Summary: Erza-Gray Song fic...


**Well new song fic I'll update my other story as soon as possible the song here s near to you by a fine frenzy.**

**Kisses **

**Near to you**

Erza Scarlet sat in the guild's bar; ever again it was that day a day that had no importance for the rest of the world, a day that she wanted to escape from. She had told herself many times that she shouldn't feel like this for a traitor, a dark mage. But there was no way to avoid it. Erza didn't think it was like asking her not to breathe, because that was just so cliché Also if she wanted there were some armors that allowed her to stay without breathing for a long time. What she thought that was like was actually if someone asked for Erza to force herself not to exist. Not in the way of maybe committing suicide but mostly losing her personality and becoming an empty shell of sorts.

So then there she was drinking herself to a hangover with Mira glancing at her. She could almost feel the white haired mage's concern and her thoughts that probably were near to a 'She always becomes Kana at this time of the year, but the difference is that Kana doesn't get drunk' more than anything else but Erza had too much pain to deal with to actually care about what Mira and the rest of the guild thought of her.

And they would surely not think badly of her, after all Erza had a reason as valid as that of many others. Oh yes this was the anniversary of the day when he had disappeared with the imperial army. There had been no news of that man since then, for all Erza knew that blue haired wizard could be dead and even then she couldn't refrain from at least once a year drinking her loss away even if only two years had passed.

Her thoughts repeated that name again and again like a chant hoping that if it was repeated again again and again then it'd become muffled and incoherent until it was a background sound in her mind.

Jellal. Jellal. Jellal.

_He and I had something beautiful__  
__But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last__  
__I loved him so but I let him go__  
__'Cause I knew he'd never love me back_

_Such pain as this__  
__Shouldn't have to be experienced__  
__I'm still reeling from the loss, __  
__Still a little bit delirious_

And as if on cue…

Life sure hated her. Erza had never heard the song but knew she wouldn't be able to forget it from that second on. Maybe it was ok every human being had the right to let the hurt from the past just flow out once in a while.

She sighed. This was pitiful. Titania Erza a woman feared by most was there finishing the third tequila bottle of the night many bottles still to come.

She had loved him once and it was not forbidden love or one of those Shakespeare dramas. If she had decided on it Erza could have one back to him, she was a powerful mage and joining darkness wouldn't have been hard. But this is where the thing comes to a stop. Erza wasn't a fool and she knew that even being how he was her love for Jellal would only have an end after the time passed and it was clear for her too that even if she had actually joined that side it would never be possible Jellal would have only used her, and even now it would be impossible as he was locked up.

However she was happy for one thing. She didn't love him anymore.

Erza turned her head and took a look at the guild, there wasn't too much people so late at night and damn was she seeing well or was it him there she had a sudden urge of slapping and hugging the blurry blue haired figure that she saw ahead. The only thing that didn't fit was that the expression was that one of the times when they were kids peaceful and calm, the time before that wench had brain washed him.

She remembered something else too, that was not him that was Mystogan. She had just desired for him to be.

Sometimes it happened that she thought she heard his voice carried by the wind to her ears, or she thought she had seen his face in some villager but Erza knew better that those were just things her own brain made her believe trying to distance itself from the pain of losing what was never there.__

_Near to you, I am healing__  
__But it's taking so long__  
__'Cause though he's gone__  
__And you are wonderful__  
__It's hard to move on__  
__Yet, I'm better near to you._

Finally the fifth… bottle of tequila that is.

She rose from the seat and started walking away suddenly the floor seemed to go up and meet her face. Or maybe it was her face which met the floor. Damn alcohol… There were many pretty colored lights clouding her sight. Ughh this hangover would be worse than last year's. She couldn't even see straight.

And suddenly she felt herself being carried. By who? She had no idea but she had still enough of her right mind to know they were carrying her to one of the rooms in Fairy tail's second floor; they were normally for guests but whatever she'd just sleep like a rock and then wait for the hangover to rain over her.

Erza opened her eyes a little as she was dropped on the bed. The face she was staring at Erza knew she knew it but couldn't quite match the name and face with her current state. This face had two onyx orbs that looked over to her with concern and it was framed by silky black hair.

"A… guy and h…e has no… shirt on… That's it G…Gr…Gray" Titania felt happy for the first time that day, she had friends after all. They all made her happy and were slowly treating the wounds from her past she was better off like this.

"Yep, you have to stop drinking yourself almost into a coma every year" The ice mage stared down at her. He was too close for it to be normal.

She giggled "It's just easier this way Gray" He knew and he understood, but still…

In another situation Erza would have probably pushed him off. It really pained him to see her like this she was still the Erza they all knew, but she wasn't at that point of time she seemed so vulnerable it was something that only happened once in a year, and gray knew that by the morning she was to go back to the tough Erza. He wished she didn't have to suffer like this for him. Erza always tried to make everyone think that in that specific day of the year she just got a random urge to drink herself into unconsciousness, most people believed it though and no one, not Gray, not Natsu, Not Lucy let them see what really happened. What for, it was easier this way. The ice mage just hoped she somehow forgot about it someday in a near future he could tell that Erza didn't love Jellal anymore but she still cared for him and missed him. And now she was staring at him with curiosity painted in those brown eyes as the alcohol had apparently helped her to hide from the pain for a while but at the same time numbed her greatly.__

_You and I have something different__  
__And I'm enjoying it cautiously__  
__I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard__  
__To get back to who I used to be___

_He's disappearing__  
__Fading suddenly__  
__I'm so close to being yours__  
__Won't you stay with me__  
__Please_

He laid her in the bed not bothering to reply to her last phrase. She looked pretty there in her plain white blouse with a blue ribbon just like he had thought exposed and tender.

He had felt how she quickly retaliated when they talked about anything that could get them to Jellal. After that incident she had kind of closed up a little making it so that she wouldn't fall in love easily and be hurt again. She was scared of that and he could see it.

Erza looked at him between her clouded mind still lucid enough to see that he was worried about her.

And then there was this moment when every one of us says 'oh what the fuck why am I suffering for some fucktard' She wouldn't forget Jellal not that she didn't want to but she couldn't. Two years had been more than enough for her. So Erza let it go or the rest of the day forgot for a while, it was easier.

"Even if you do drink yourself into a coma that's not a healthy or even effective way to forget about him"

Gosh just when she was forgetting in some way so Erza decided to play dumb for a while if she had been sober Erza would have known it wasn't working no matter what she did but alcohol as well as making your head foggy makes you kinda lose your common sense. "Which him?" She felt a fist charged with frustration land near her.

"Don't play dumb on me Erza it's Jellal obviously."

"I wasn't even thinking about him"

"Yeah sure, and I am a fire mage"

"No… seriously" Truth to be told she was holding back tears.

"I know this is the anniversary of him disappearing you don't have to lie to me"

"I'm not lying" Erza said while trying to keep a straight face. There was no reason for her to drag any of her friends into such a useless drama.

"You are" he looked Erza straight in the eyes "maybe the rest believes that you just get a sudden drinking urge. But we know, Me Lucy Natsu and Happy" Damn her friends why did they have to know her that well. Even so what the heck was Gray doing there, it was probably one in the morning and he should be sleeping. Just like Lucy and Natsu. Happy had this odd habit of going for midnight snacks. Furthermore he should be with a girlfriend or whatever. Everyone knew Lucy and Natsu were an item and Gray could be pretty well off with that Juvia woman. Then why was he taking care of her in that case?"

"This is not something you have to worry about"

"Yes it is"

"Look just this is my business, Gray" Erza buried her head in the pillow; she was getting a head ache just because of their argument.

She felt steps going to the door and turned her head around to see the Ice mage's hand in the handle, was he leaving? If so why did it felt as something wrong and not the sanest thing for Gray to do? " It is my business. But I guess that you're ok like this" He turned the handle and opened the door

"For once Erza's emotions took over before her rational side and she stumbled out of the bed with wobbly legs and unable to cling to anything else, she fisted Grey's white cloak which for once was on and not forgotten in some corner where he had decided to unconsciously strip. Mentally she was divided, Erza scolded herself for such behavior, maybe she had drank way too much that night, she thought, maybe the alcohol was what made her say what she did. "Won't you please stay with me Gray" she said tugging on his sleeve with supplicant eyes.__

_Near to you, I am healing__  
__but it's taking so long__  
__'Cause though he's gone__  
__and you are wonderful__  
__it's hard to move on__  
__Yet, I'm better near to you.___

_I only know that I am__  
__Better where you are__  
__I only know that I am__  
__Better where you are__  
__I only know that I belong__  
__Where you are_

He looked at her like she had grown another head wasn't she just asking for him to leave in a subtle way.

He still complied Gray couldn't deny this to her, so he picked Erza up and placed her in the bed. He laid down on the other side, their backs facing each other They hadn't slept like that in a while so both thought they'd last a while without sleeping but surprisingly both hit the sooze button pretty fast.

**That was my first fairy tail fic, thanks for reading. Pweeease review.**_  
_


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